


I'm honestly feeling so attatched right now

by orphan_account



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Drunk Texting, M/M, tHIS IS SO SHORT, the word daddy is mentioned ONCE, this has been in my draft for 300 years, why are muke like this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-29
Updated: 2014-10-29
Packaged: 2018-02-23 01:46:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2529479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ashton and Calum are not happy with their band mates.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm honestly feeling so attatched right now

**ash** : MIKE LUKE WERE TRYNA GET SUM SLEEP FORFUCKS SAKE

 **luke** : how drunk are u

 **cal** : WHAY HE SAID

 **mikey** : how drunk are u

 **ash** : NOT SRUNK HUST TIREERED

 **ash** : a liL drunk maby

 **cal** : WR JSUT WANT TO GET SOME SLEEP 

 **cal** : FUCKWITS

 **luke** : i’m impressed you spelled that right 

 **cal** : ITS CUZ IM FYCJING AWESOME. 

 **ash** : HE RLY IS

 **mikey** : naah he’s drunk 

 **cal** : SO WAHT

 **luke** : why are you still yelling tho 

 **ash** : IM NOT YELLING 

 **ash** : UR YELLING

 **luke** : me??? 

 **cal** : yELLING MIKEYS NAME

 **luke** : oh

 **mikey** : he’s such a good boy

 **mikey** : daddy’s little boy

 **cal** : WE DONT WANNA KNOW OKAY

 **cal** : WE LITERALLY SERIOSULY DO NOT FUCKING WANT TO KNOW 

 **ash** : and we dont want to hear u frickle frackle at 2am!!!!!!!

 **luke** : sorry 

 **cal** : we had to empty the minibar to distract ourselvs from ur fucking noises

 **mikey** : our fucking noises or our fucking noises?

 **ash** : ITS NOT FUNNY

 **ash** : I CAME HERE 2 HAVE A GOOD TIME AND IM HONESTLY FEELIN SO OPPRESSED RIGHT NOW

 **luke** : ….that’s not how it goes ash

 **mikey** : *oppressed drunk white male drummer alert* 

 **ash** : ATTACJED 

 **ash** : i mean attacked

 **ash** : im honestly feeling so attatched rn

 **mikey** : i bet it’s to calums booty

 **cal** : you’re not worthy of talking about my booty u motherfucker

 **cal** : PLS JUST stay in separate beds. or rooms. try to live in celibat for awhile. god.

 **luke** : but caluuuuum

 **luke** : we can promise to be more quiet?

 **mikey** : xcuse u

 **mikey** : I am quiet

 **mikey** : you’re the one who makes all the noise

 **ash** : BAN MUKE FROM HAVING SEX

 **ash** : i was gunna write luke but w/e

 **ash** : my phone knows what’s upppp

 **cal** : or we quit the band.

 **mikey** : see if i give a damn 

 **luke** : don’t be mad :((( 

 **luke** : i’ll shut up

 **mikey** : wait, what

 **mikey** : no

 **mikey** : don’t 

 **mikey** : how dare you 

 **luke** : but I don’t want our band to end!!!! 

 **cal** : is he drunk too or

 **mikey** : no 

 **luke** : i’m not 

 **mikey** : did ash finally pass out

 **cal** : uhm yeah 

 **mikey** : whimp

—-

 **luke** : so i'm gonna break the awkward silence by saying that last night was awkward

 **ash** : reading the conversation right now i can’t remember half of it

 **mikey** : what did you even have

 **cal** : u don’t wanna know

 **ash** : i don’t even wanna know myself 

 **luke** : apparently you sent 16 pictures of calums bum to niall on snapchat

 **ash** : what the HELL

 **ash** : did he tell u this??

 **luke** : no he literally just tweeted it

 **mikey** : why do u have his notifications on…?

 **luke** : idk

 **ash:** oh my god

 **ash:** i thought u were joking but u weren't

 **ash:** why is niall like this

 **cal:** don't fucking play innocent it was you who sent the pics in the 1st place ash

 **luke:** exacly 

 **luke:** don't blame it on niall

 **mikey:** why are you sucha niall girl all of a sudden

 **cal:** he's straight anyway luke

 **ash:**  (not for this band he's not)

 **luke:** shut UP I DONT WANT TO SLEEP WITH HIM WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS

 **luke** : I JUST LIKE HIM AS A FRAND O K

 **cal:** well so do i but i dont have him on twitter alert ?

 **luke** : mike has harry on twitter alert s o

 **cal** : lmao really

 **mikey:** yeah and it's not a secret??? 

 **mikey:** we gay bois need 2 stick together

 **ash:** not u and luke

 **ash:** u need to stay as far away from each other as possible

 **ash:** at least after 6pm

 **mikey:** lolz are you serious

 **mikey:** we'll just have sex before 6pm then

 **mikey:** all day if u like

 **cal:** can we PLS STOP TALKING ABOUT YOUR SEX LIFE NOBODY IS INTERESTED

 **cal** : LITERALLY NOBODY ON THIS FUCKING PLANET

 **luke:** actually i think you're wrong there but

 **luke:**  guys i just wanna move on from this can we please move on from this

 **luke:** me an d mike won't have loud sex in hotel rooms and u 2 won't get drunk without us okay deal??

 **ash:** deal

 **ash:** but it's not as if  you're allowed to get drunk anyway

 **ash:** you're underageeee

 **luke:** CAN YOU STOP

 **luke:** I AM 18

 **luke:** if you're gonna bully me at least come up with something new

 **mikey:** luke just come over here and cuddle. let's ignore them.

 **cal:** AWWW 

 **mikey:** shut ur mouth fuckwit.

 


End file.
